A friend just sent me this while I was working late last night. They're building a new resort up by Mt. Bachelor? -hoc
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For Immediate Release
Borealis Resort Development Announces Plans for
Destination Resort Community:
Long-Awaited Luxury Residences and Accommodations Coming to Mt. Bachelor
“Borealis is a long-awaited dream come to true,” said Sam Hillson, president of Borealis Resort Development. “Ever since Mt. Bachelor Ski Resort began operations in the '50s, people have envisioned the possibility of mountain-side accommodations. We’re finally going to make it a reality.”
Designed for today’s active lifestyles, Borealis Resort will link directly to the slopes of Mt. Bachelor via an extensive network of hiking, snowshoeing, and cross-country ski trails. This one-of-a-kind community will also feature a members' clubhouse, a 150-room hotel with 50 adjacent high-end cabins for overnight rentals, a spa, restaurant, meeting space, 379 single-family homes and 210 townhomes. Plans call for an 18-hole championship golf course surrounded by millions of acres of old-growth forests that boast sweeping vistas of icy volcanoes and alpine lakes.
Additionally, Borealis announced that it selected Longmont, CO-based engineering firm Grand Shelters to help create the resort community. Grand Shelters designs are found in mountain locations worldwide. The firm is known for producing elegant structures based on the self-supporting catenary curve, the same architectural form and engineering principles behind the flying buttresses of Europe’s most splendid cathedrals.
Green-building practices and materials will be incorporated throughout the resort, and Borealis will pursue LEED certification from the U.S. Green Building Council. “The environment is our most precious asset, and we must protect it,” Hillson stated. “Everything will blend in seamlessly with the natural landscape.”
The resort’s name was inspired by the Aurora Borealis, or Northern Lights, which are a rarely seen phenomenon in Central Oregon skies. “This rare and special quality is perfectly appropriate to our unique vision for the resort,” Hillson remarked.
Thanks to a wildly successful word-of-mouth campaign, Wildland Property has already begun accepting reservations from eager investors, and Borealis Resort Development plans to complete Phase I of the master-planned community by Spring 2008.
For information, visit www.BendBorealis.com, call 541-815-0907 or email info@bendborealis.com. For real estate inquiries, contact Wildland Property at 972-607-9480 or email info@wildlandproperty.com.
Media Contacts:
B.C. McCoy, Borealis Resort Development, 541-815-0907, info@bendborealis.com
Neville Williamson, Wildland Property, 972-607-9480, info@wildlandproperty.com
7 comments:
:)
I need my own igloo
This is a Hoax website/press release talking about a new destination resort by Mount Bachelor.
Although it is a slick hoax, the joke is clear when you look up the proposed engineering firm.
http://www.grandshelters.com/
They make an igloo construction helper tool.
YOU MUST BE THE ASSHOLE SPREADING THIS STUPID HOAX AROUND TOWN. NOBODY GIVES A FUCK BUDDY, SO GO FIND A JOB AND GET A LIFE!
ad HOC? what kind of retarded name is that? your new logo looks like something you paid 20 bucks for on eBay. And Harold, would it be alright if I started contacting your clients? They should know what a dumb ass you are.....
Yeah, this isn't so much a "resort" as it is "open land on which you can build igloos." Neither phone number gets you anything more than voicemail, and both are for Wildland Property with a greeting that remarks upon just how swamped they are with the overwhelming response they've received.
The hoax really isn't all that slick; the description of the "community" includes "Handcrafted igloos with patented mathematical formulas to enhance durability" and "Our models come in 7, 8, 9, 10, and 11-foot diameter configurations," along with empty info like "Low crime rate" and "No maintenance costs."
The one that really gets me, though, is "a slice of the vacation-home life without the second mortgage," which just an out-and-out lie. I don't think anyone in his right mind would consider an igloo to be a "vacation home."
What I don't get, though, is "Plans call for at least 210 townhome units." Is that, y'know, the truth? Or is Hillson calling igloos "townhome units" now?
I think maybe what you should do next is take a poll on why geso and beebeebreezed are so angry at what is probably a satire on Bend's destination resort hotness and the power of marketing. My guess is they're real estate/developer types who wanted to sell them before they realized they were igloos or they just hate igloos. Now, can you come up with an ad campaign that markets the Seven Deadly Sins in such a way that we just all gotta have, say, avarice? Oh wait, you might get hate mail for that, too. Best to sit in the corner and do your job and, quote, get a life.
Obviously, geso and beebeebreezed are related (their postings are only an hour apart). And, as I(heart)igloos noted, they're likely unibrowed realtors or developers with the IQ of used duct tape. Their postings simply validate calls to reduce their population by poaching. I do love the part where geso says "nobody gives a fuck" when he went out of his way to post a comment on your blog. Obviously, you do give a fuck, geso, and it's hurting you bad. Whimper, poor baby, whimper...
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